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things i noticed after one day of being back on campus

-i feel really bad for most people i see. especially the people just out of high school. they will look back on this period of time and curse themselves for not spending this time and energy in another environment. or maybe this is truly the apex of their life and i have no reference point for understanding how they see the world and what makes them happy.

-not afraid of whether or not the smoking ban is real cause everyone i walk by that sees me smoking gives off an expression like they don’t, either.

-i do not look like anyone here or i am looked at like i don’t look like anyone here, i’ve been gone so i guess they are better judges

questions i have

-why on our first day (or at all) do you need to ask, “what year are you,” and more importantly, why do you need to start with me? i’m not even in the front or back of the room, i was in a pretty nonchalant middle-of-the-pack kinda position and i had to be like “uhh well um i took a year and a half off but i was about to graduate but then went nuts and, since, requirements changed or some shit so i guess a sixth-year senior if you include my time off as relevant to the question FOR GOD’S SAKE WHY ME FIRST” 

-seriously is the smoking ban real? i don’t care either way but it’d be nice to know if i’m getting “you look weird” stares or “you offend me” stares

-behind closed doors, do the people that run this school talk about ways to make it a more effective racket, or do they in their own minds pretend this is legit like they do publicly? had to pay $300 for an entry-level general curriculum class book MADE BY THE SCHOOL FOR THE SCHOOL. for a class i need to take at the school, because your last 9 credits need to be on campus, because…why?


Ryoji Ikeda


Ryoji Ikeda

(via this-new-puritan)

last track on “spell stutter,” out whenever i finish it.


Nabeel Hilmy 

Listen/download: ceskl by cope ascetic

fantastic tune by my old friend curtis

in a crazy unexpected turn of events i will be going back to classes monday to get that stupid piece of paper that says i did something. tell 2013 droo he’s gonna be a fucking sellout

the way everything about your life can change in a day never ceases to be really interesting and scary at the same time and i don’t like it or dislike it, but it’s really cool to feel an equally overwhelming and vague emotion all of a sudden



Fuck. Respectability. Politics.

I am so tired.